Sunday, December 26, 2010

Pascal, Pensées #355

Continuous eloquence wearies.

Princes and kings sometimes play. They are not always on their thrones. They weary there. Grandeur must be abandoned to be appreciated. Continuity in everything is unpleasant. Cold is agreeable, that we may get warm.

Nature acts by progress, itus et reditus. It goes and returns, then advances further, then twice as much backwards, then more forward than ever, etc.

The tide of the sea behaves in the same manner; and so apparently does the sun in its course.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

"Through Heaven's wide champain held his way; till Morn,
Waked by the circling Hours, with rosy hand
Unbarred the gates of light. There is a cave
Within the mount of God, fast by his throne,
Where light and darkness in perpetual round
Lodge and dislodge by turns, which makes through Heaven
Grateful vicissitude, like day and night;
Light issues forth, and at the other door
Obsequious darkness enters, till her hour
To veil the Heaven, though darkness there might well
Seem twilight here"

~ Paradise Lost, Book VI

so much love, perpetual round, so much light from above. miss you still.
Blair O'Connor, beloved father, December 25, 1973.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

old poem

In preparation for a book length publication, I'm riffling through and revisiting old songs, old friends:

the cottage

The pens here have all dried out.

This season makes me sneeze.

This time it's really the weather.


I drew our lives on my leg this afternoon while you were swimming.

I was going to show you as you were toweling yourself off.

But something came up.


Later, my catalyst was this book.

It had your initials inside.

We didn't speak for hours.

Sunday, December 19, 2010


I filmed this commercial for a Montreal video game company, Gameloft, a couple weeks ago.

Apparently, I'm not into aliens.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Apparently hypothyroidism can accompany kidney failure. Good lord. I forsee more blood tests in my future.

At least I understand the numerous symptoms I've had for the past 8 years. Funny that a doctor didn't dot together the connections. Damn doctors.

My hair, which has been falling out at an increasing rate, has now surpassed the 'small amount' I'd anticipated. I am losing my hair. My doctors better do something, and fast. This is not acceptable. Free health care, or free health (minus the care)...

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Dancing the Wolf

Dreaming of wolves again (my shamanic animal). Two wolves this time, one baby wolf, white, one mother wolf, tawny. The mother pulls me in with one paw, one sharp powerful pull toward her and the babe-wolf. I take it as a necessary shift in perspective, one in line perhaps with the near completion of my Master's degree, and the parallels of change with regard to aging and starting anew. What paths will the wolf lead me on through the forest this time? Or, might it be time to become the wolf, and lead myself.
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