Wednesday, September 27, 2006


Thinking about Bett's Feminism question/post. One thing occurs to me over and over: can we ever move beyond our history? I suppose that goes for anyone in any past situation. Given we have the human capacity for memory, and that once an event happens in a lifetime, it is never forgotten. We can move forward, but there will always be stalls.

I saw a lot of poverty, abuse and general disrepect of women as a child. In many ways I did not realize my full womanly potential as a free and choosing being until I was educated in high school. And then, it's as if girls disappeared into the homogenous mix that is humanity and became, somehow, less than female. In trying to recognize women (in the 80's) as equal in society, I think women lost a little connection to themselves. I'm not sure my generation has quite come to terms with that yet. There seems to be a lot of identity searching, a lot of confusion on exactly "who" to be. Perhaps it is the same with men, given they are too no longer tied to the 50's "ideal" of marriage.

I would not be here studying, pursuing an intellectual life, if the women who came before me did not stand up for rights "to choose". I am also thankful that having children is no longer considered something a woman must do (although I think we could all say we feel the biological urge from time to time--nature does not adjust itself to feminism--whatever that may entail for each individual).

I grew up in New Brunswick. My family still asks me if I'm ever going to get married. Last time I talked to my uncle Owen he said he could fix me up with a nice boy from Albert County (said he and my uncle Hartley could keep an eye on him in case he got out of hand). I thought myself into that life for a moment and discovered just how foreign it might seem. Have I moved beyond that kind of life? Did feminism do that?

I only hope that in my pursuance of higher education, in my taking care of myself (solely, completely), that I'm not too busy to make time for the possibility of marriage. I was proposed to only a year ago, but wanted to move to further pursue my education. The relationship could not withstand the distance. But then, this is another problem that seems to face the new century--how does a woman go about meeting interesting, intellectual men? The bar has become the social circle, the outdoors club, the extracurricular evening classes city's tend to hold... but it's difficult to know if the person is sincere or just trying to meet girls (happened to me, in an acting class--turns out, the guy nabbed a few phone numbers). Anyway, I digress.

I read Gloria Steinhem when I was younger. It was pretty great. But then, I had teenage self-esteem problems. Helped with that.

Feminism, it's pretty okay. And, it's pretty personal.


Blogger Scott Tribe said...

An interesting and thoughtful post.

I dont suppose I could encourage you to reformat that into a "5 things feminism has done for you" list so that we can add you and your link to the posting here?

IF not.. thanks still for posting a good post.

2:16 p.m.  
Blogger functional nomad said...

hey wanda,

the personal dynamic is probably the rub. these things hit us all in so many different ways; i suppose that's why it's been interesting to read the various responses to the question -- especially as our good government undermines things we might have taken for grant.

Maybe Steven Harper's legacy of love is all about bringing us all together.


2:41 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You were a beautiful, intelligent teen, with a smile that lit up a room like the dawn. Being lucky enough to have held your hand makes me a better person ... And you danced devinely at my sister's wedding.


3:22 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a poet accepts a life of dysfuncionality and other descriptive words beginning with three vowels, and she is a perpetual watcher, not a participator. having been a lifelong vegetarian, I personally gave it up for sanity, because I was living an ideal, and hating all those who didn't suffer the same martyrdom. let go of the poet's ideal of suffering, wo, and you'll find what you really want. just be ready to be laughed at by the critics. the critics are always jealous.

12:17 a.m.  

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