Is at a loss. Not a lack really, more a missing. Deterrent? Nah. Although I've always fancied the word "hindrance." "Proclivity" is also very nice.

Where do I belong? Does anyone belong anywhere? I've never had a "home." I need to find one. To buy land. To have a place that is finally mine no one can take away or move me out of. A place I can plant herbs, build a fence out of trees, house a happy family of bees, make things with my hands.

Where do I go from here? I have to go somewhere... I'm tired of standing still. Or waiting. I have a plan. But how do I set it in motion? And is it the really true super duper amazing life plan that I want? I think so... but how to be certain is beyond me. Can a person really live in the country and be paid to write articles traveling overseas? That is one of the things in my plan.

Back to work.



p.s. in an unrelated matter, I was just thinking that it is such a loss to not be together with George, he that studied the Tao Te Ching and appeared so wise, when I realized that 'wait a minute'--he didn't follow the Tao at all. It wasn't real. It was my own illusion making him into a beautiful philosopher. Which leads me to this:

WANTED: handsome philosopher teacher. Intimacy issues (and wandering hands--with others) need not apply. I'm terrific company, and can teach a thing or two myself.