tea and oranges

I give up.

I don't want to try to feel better, busy myself with new activities or go to bed early. I want to be with you.

But I have failed, we have failed, at that very thing. And there isn't any time for tea and oranges. The tea leaves are turning to brown, the oranges wither in the cold of my refrigerator.

I heard your two messages today, trying to help me through my difficult/failed herbal experience. One upbeat, the other, when you couldn't reach me, deflated. Both made me sad and I longed for you by my side once more.

Why, I continue to ask. It seems so unfair. So ridiculous. But then, I am having a difficult day today and my body feels unusually weak. I shall sleep, then.

I love you.