Friday, May 15, 2009

Life is good

I was just awarded the SSHRC for graduate study. It's such an incredible thing, the award being highly competitive, and if I can use it, it'll pay my way through life and school costs for one entire year. As a result, I'm quite in shock and reflective about my journey up to this point. I'm reminded of a little girl stalled in sand which shifted beneath her feet continually, never finding sure footing until later in life, the constant moving and series of events which shaped her already shy demeanor, turning too often to despair. But I always knew there was hope, that even when no hope was sensed, there was never 'not any hope.'

So here I am. What an incredible 4 years I've had studying waves of material from Classical civilization, ancient languages, archaeology, ancient philosophy, history, ancient prose and poetry, linguistics, modern poetics, American and Canadian poetry, literary theory, existentialist philosophy, and Canadian writing... I have learned much about the world, our histories, and even more about myself. What a breaking point is, what desire is, what doubt is... and how to persevere through incredibly difficult moments. I've also experienced pure moments of epiphany, have had incredible conversations, and have read literature that will forever have an effect on my journey through this life. Never give up.

The richness that is at our fingertips in terms of knowledge (and applied knowledge at that) is incredibly inspiring. I will continue to attend lectures and enroll in courses, spending my free time traveling, writing poetry, and tending my garden--and of course working... at something yet to be determined. There's a small yellow house with a decaying barn somewhere out there with my name on it. Not sure how I'm going to get there, but it's where I'm aiming. Somewhere near my ocean, with goats. And SSHRC will undoubtedly help me move towards that vision.

On June 7th I will be receiving my Honours Degree in Classical Literature and Languages, Major Creative Writing, with Distinction. I can hardly believe it, that I'm that same girl who left a well-paying job in Ottawa 4 years ago to pursue an education in subjects I'd never before given much thought, subjects which have changed my life incredibly and enriched my future existence on this planet. To that shy little girl who was dealt such a hard hand early on, congratulations. You did it.


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