Who can tell.
I fall in love with you more and more each day, as my memories are revived of our times together. I do not seek such reflections, only ponder the intricacies which ended our true love. Is it man's fear of himself that stops him in his tracks? Or perhaps it is fear of death after all. You did so strive for immortality. They say one should never retire, that it is a sure path to dying. Perhaps men fear being with one woman then, as it is an end to something, or maybe some men see it that way. It is also a glorious beginning, an enriching life to have a like companion. They do say like cures like, in homeopathy. Oh dear George, have you paid such little attention to your naturopathy lessons?
Still miss you, but the rain somehow is helping tonight. Washing away and bringing such fresh fresh air. The sunny days are the ones that seem harder somehow.
I will go to the Botanical Gardens, the place we frequented last summer and frolicked with the small foxes--comparing ourselves to each wise and concentrated gaze--and try to reclaim it my own. It will be difficult, as many memories of closeness, companionship and love are amongst those trees, herbs, and stones. But claim it I must if I am to survive. It will likely not be anytime soon, however.
I know you must be alone now to contemplate your own life path, and I am willing to let that happen without interference, although am dreadfully sad to not have found you at a place in your life where you had thought of a definitive answer to your ever burgeoning question--What is my passion? What should I do? And might I suggest, What am I always running away from?
Your Tai Chi might help you discover the answers, however, I would caution you to not rejecting a thorough look within. Therein lies your mystery and the clues. You may heal yourself through the looking glass.
When I have the strength to do it, I shall plant our tree "Alberta" on the island in a special place, and let you know where you may visit it. Might it be a symbol of our love, friendship, and determination.
I love you. It will always be.